


Crowned

by HalfwayThrough



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Dark Reylo, Dark but like not too dark, Emperor Kylo Ren, Empress Rey, F/M, First Time, More like dimming of the lights reylo, both virgins, if rey had accept kylo's proposal, they're still awkward dorks though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-02-20 14:13:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13148355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalfwayThrough/pseuds/HalfwayThrough
Summary: She can’t feel the heat of his skin through his glove, but she takes it anyway. Amid the corpses and burning curtains, Rey finds his dark, pleading eyes and gives him the answer he so desperately hopes for and that she wasn’t sure she had the courage to admit.Rey accepts Kylo's hand and becomes his Empress, and inherits all the problems and pleasure that comes with it.





	1. A Step into the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> This will follow Rey if she had taken Kylo's hand in The Last Jedi. I wanted to explore that while being true to the characters as we had come to know them in the movie, that is by both being giant awkward virgins. I've rated this fic explicit for where I intend this fic to go in the next chapter(s).  
> Merry Christmas! I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think.

She can’t feel the heat of his skin through his glove, but she takes it anyway. Amid the corpses and burning curtains, Rey finds his dark, pleading eyes and gives him the answer he so desperately hopes for and that she wasn’t sure she had the courage to admit. 

“Yes,” it’s a whisper, a simple breath of air, yet it causes an avalanche. Ben doesn’t know what to do. She sees a tear run down his cheek, and his hand begins to quiver in her hold. 

“Oh, Rey,” he moves forward as if to embrace her but stops himself. They were both quick in a fight, always knowing which move should come next but they never did know what to do when alone. They had touched fingers, yes, but they had never hugged before. Rey thought of what it would be like to let herself fall into his arms and her skin raised goosebumps at the idea. 

Nothing was stopping her now. 

Rey fell forward, letting Ben’s arms wrap around her shoulders and bring her safely into his chest. The sensation was everything she could have hoped for. She instantly felt safe despite the fires burning around them, and the impending political mess. She felt a gloved hand run through her hair and she closed her eyes, feeling the moment and listening to Ben’s heartbeat within his chest. 

“Thank you, Rey,” he whispered into her hair over and over again. “Thank you.”

* * *

“The Supreme Leader is dead,” Hux’s voice echoed through the hanger, the thousands of stormtroopers neatly lined up before them. Little white tally marks on a stark gray wall. 

“Long live the Supreme Leader,” the followers echoed. Rey swallowed hard. She could feel their eyes on her through their helmets, burning through her clothes and seeing the conflict that still twisted within her chest. 

_For Ben_ she thought to herself. The man in question cocked his head to her. He must have felt her affirmation through the force. Rey shook her head, but it didn’t seem to ease his concern for her. He hadn’t left her side since the throne room. They faced Hux side by side, and were facing the First Order the same way. 

“In his stead, Kylo Ren will lead the First Order to victory over the Resistance and bring order to the galaxy,” Hux announced. 

There was applause, a sound that Hux basked in. Ben, on the other hand, seemed flighty. His eyes flickering to the exits, and his fingers curling into fists only to stretch back out again. Rey stepped closer, taking his gloved hand into hers. He stiffened at her touch, looking down at their connection and then up to her face. 

“We’re done here,” he whispered before leading her into the hallway away from his new responsibilities.

* * *

As the door slid open to Kylo’s quarters, Rey was overcome with familiarity. She had never seen the sleek black walls, or chrome trimmed table but she felt as if she had been here before. Her mind flashed with the memory of Ben coming to her shirtless through their bond and her cheeks flushed. To him, she had been here already- calling him a monster and taking his hand. 

Rey’s eyes gazed over the room before coming to a stop on Ben himself. He was watching her, his eyes full of hope and something else.

“I hope you’ll be happy here,” he quietly retorted, an unsaid “with me” hanging in the air. 

“I’m sure I will be,” Rey responded, her own nerves overcoming her thoughts. As naïve as it sounds, Rey had never been alone in a man’s personal rooms before. After wishing Ben was right beside her so many times, she found she didn’t know what to do now that it had finally come true. 

Well, she had an idea of what she wanted to do but no idea how to achieve it.

The pair stood in an awkward silence for a few moments.

“Your shoulder,” Ben said, quickly walking over to a small cabinet and pulling out a bandage and a jar of cream. 

“It’s fine,” Rey said, trying to wave off his concern. 

“Sit,” Ben motioned to a stool. Rey bit her lip before deciding to let him dote on her. She sat down, peering at the wound. It was a large wound, but not too deep. It would leave a scar no doubt. Rey’s eyes traveled to Ben’s face where she had carved a deep mark. He never seemed upset about it. Never brought it up, actually. 

Rey had always heard of Kylo Ren’s vicious temper but she had hardly seen it. Even in their first meeting he had been calm with her, always a cool voice just above a whisper. 

Ben thoughtlessly yanked a glove off with his teeth and Rey felt a spark in her core. He kneeled beside her, using his hand to smooth a healing salve over her shoulder. 

“Thank you,” she threw over her shoulder, choosing to affix her gaze at the opposite wall and not on the concentrated look that had overtaken Ben’s features. With his body so close she could smell him, the sweat on his skin from their fight in the throne room and the leather of his gloves. 

Ben pressed a black bandage over her shoulder, sealing the wound away to heal. 

“There,” he said, but did not move. Their faces were level, even with Ben on the floor beside her. He was such a large man. Tall, with impossibly broad shoulders. Again, that flicker of uncovered skin zipped through her mind and Rey felt her face give away her thoughts. 

“Rey,” her name came out on a sigh, his ungloved hand taking one of hers. Their fingers intertwined sending a spark through Rey’s body from the tip of her hair all the way to her toes. She could feel Ben’s breath on her face, his lips only inches away from her own. She wanted to touch him, she wanted to feel his body against her own, to taste his skin and to make him hers. 

Cautiously, Rey opened her mind letting Ben see the thoughts she couldn’t bring herself to say out loud. 

His eyes closed, his hand squeezing hers as the wants washed over him. 

“I feel it, too,” he said. Rey leaned in, her eyes focused on his lips and thinking how soft they’d feel under her own. 

“Supreme Leader, you are needed on the bridge,” a voice cut through the door. Ben slipped his hand out of Rey’s, quickly grabbing his glove and shoving his fingers into it. 

“We have business to attend to.”

* * *

“Emperor Ren,” Hux nodded as they entered, his eyes narrowing at Rey. “What is she doing here?” 

“What?” Rey couldn’t help but feel insulted. However, her questioned was ignored as Hux only looked to Kylo for an answer.

“Rey is my partner now, and she will be respected as such,” Kylo said, his eyes begging Hux to challenge him. 

“Ah, and what shall we call your… partner,” Hux turned his eyes on the girl, his mouth twisting in disgust. 

“I think Empress will do nicely,” Ben said, giving Rey a small smirk. 

“Well, my Empress, we have rebels on Crait. There aren’t many of them, many of their shuttles were destroyed before reaching the surface. Should we follow them and snuff out the Resistance for good?” Hux’s cold eyes skewered her on his gaze. However, Ben was by her side and she wasn’t afraid of any First Order General. 

“No, there’s only a handful of them. They’ll die on their own. They have no supplies and no where to run,” Rey said, trying to keep her voice monotone and level. She knew the consequences of taking Ben’s hand. She could never go back to Finn or General Leia. She doubted they would take her back once they heard of her new title and loyalties. The least she could do for them was to let them get a few days of rest without Hux knocking on their door to kick them while they’re down. It would be her final gift to the Resistance. 

“As you command, Empress.”

* * *

As they walked back down to Ben’s quarters a heavy silence hung in between them. The pair had pined for one another for so long, desperately hanging onto brief glances and ghost touches through force bonds. Now that they were free to touch one another, to always turn around and see the object of their thoughts it was… well weird. 

Rey cleared her throat, wanting to break the wall of unknown and awkwardness they had put up. 

“So, an Empress,” Rey said, trying out the word on her tongue. It was a heavy word, with lots of implications. “Isn’t an Empress usually, uh, married to the Emperor?” 

The question felt dumb and blood rushed to Rey’s cheeks as it left her mouth. Ben looked over at her, a small blush painted across his own pale cheeks. It looked good on him. 

“Yes, usually. If they want to,” Ben said. Rey didn’t know when they had stopped walking but suddenly they were standing still in the empty corridor looking at each other, their eyes loaded with questions they were both too nervous to put to air. Rey’s eyes lingered on Ben’s lips. She could feel his emotions rolling off of him like gusts of wind. Desire, nervousness, hope. 

“I think it would be a good idea,” Rey said, her voice nearly above a whisper. All Rey wanted in life was to be by his side now. She had chosen with her heart and she had picked him. Above anyone else, Ben Solo owned her heart and if that wasn’t already a bond then she didn’t know what was. They were already bonded by want, by one another, and by the force they might as well make it official. 

“Meet me in the throne room tonight.”

* * *

The day seemed to drag and also speed by too quickly. Rey had spent her time asking around and dealing with various droids to piece together a proper ensemble for the ceremony. A few commanders had taken pity on her confused wanderings of the ship and helped Rey put together an outfit befitting an Empress. There were various clothes in storage, some left by diplomats, others looted from ships taken over by the First Order. 

She had thanked the men and women who helped her, and memorized their names for the future. She would help her friends, that she promised herself. She would be kind, even if in the darkness. 

She stood outside of the throne room, straightening the lace that cascaded down around her shoulders. 

_It’s from Naboo, Empress. You must wear it._

Rey had to admit the material was gorgeous. She ran the lace between her fingers. It was old but well kept. She could feel something tied to the fabric, that something important happened to it. The force felt bonded with it, but she couldn’t quite tell what. She thought it was fitting. A dress and girl both brought to importance by the force. They were nothing otherwise, but the universe had smiled upon them and chosen them to be recognized, to be plucked from a sandy wasteland and a cold storage bin to make history. 

Rey turned to the small black droid sitting outside the door. 

“Is he in there?” she asked, nodding to the door. The droid buzzed and whistled, telling her that her intended was waiting for her. 

Rey took in a deep breath. This is what she wanted, and she wouldn’t let her nerves stop her now. 

The doors opened and Rey thought she must have gone to the wrong room. The throne room had been repaired. All the red decorations had vanished, replaced by black and white curtains. The floor was polished and the ceiling repaired. 

She looked to the people waiting at the end of the long aisle. Hux stood in his dress uniform looking impatient. The droid that had waited outside with Rey zoomed by her, taking its place beside the General. Their witnesses.

She let her hazel eyes travel to the groom. His cape trailed the floor behind him, his hair carefully brushed out of his face unlike the unruly mess he had been sporting. His black boots had been polished and shined like the floor. 

Rey walked forward, feeling her dress drag the floor behind her, the intricate designs in the lace weighing it down. 

Ben extended a gloved hand and for the second time that day, Rey changed everything and took it.


	2. Duality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so grateful for the response I've gotten with this piece. Not going to lie I felt some pressure to write a second chapter that would meet the expectations of the first. I hope this is still going in a good direction and please let me know what you think of it, I want to write something y'all want to read!

Rey sat in one of the black plush chairs in Ben’s quarters, her knees over one arm rest and her head hanging off the other one. She giggled as she watched the ceiling shift around her, the lace of her veil tickling her neck. 

After the ceremony was over Hux had so kindly presented them with a few bottles of Coruscant Blush Wine which they had quickly broken into. The officers who had helped Rey were waiting in the hall and they drank with the newlyweds. Various other commanders were made aware of the ceremony and they shared a few more drinks until a bottle had been emptied. While they thanked the various personnel who congratulated them on their union, Rey could feel Ben’s fingers caressing the lace of her skirts. 

Now, Rey sat barefoot, wiggling her toes and enjoying the tingling numbness that had set into them. Still dressed in lace, the material pooled on the floor beside her, looking out of place against the chrome and polished onyx of the ship. 

“You look gorgeous,” Ben said. Rey shifted onto her side to look at him. He was sitting cross legged on the floor, a bottle in one hand and his chin propped up on the other. A deep red blush was smeared across his cheeks, the largest smile she had ever seen Ben Solo or Kylo Ren give plastered on his lips. For a brief moment, she wondered if anyone else had seen such a sight or if she was the only person in the galaxy privy to such pleasures. 

Rey knew she would be the first one to explore other parts of Ben Solo. 

She giggled aloud, her mind so laden with drink she didn’t even try to hide the thought. Ben heard it as clearly as if she had said it aloud. His blush deepened, his cheeks a deep crimson. 

“What about you, have you ever, uh,” the words trailed away but Rey answered without making him finish. 

“No,” she said. “You were my first kiss.” 

Rey thought of the throne room, of their quiet ceremony. She had only read of weddings, they weren’t exactly common on Jakku. They were supposed to be big ceremonies with lots of people, but that didn’t seem right for something so intimate. In the end Rey and Ben stood together, hands interlocked and promised to never let the other feel alone. Then they kissed. A soft, brief touch of lips. It was electric and enticing and impossibly sweet. Rey’s fingers found her lips and traced over the skin, trying to remember the feeling of his breath against them. She wanted to kiss him again, to feel his heart beat and taste his sweat. 

She looked over at Ben sheepishly. He could no doubt feel her lust through their bond, especially with it as open as it was now. 

The two sat in silence for a moment before Ben set his bottle down, crawling across the floor to lean against Rey’s chair, his cheek pressed to the cool metal. 

“May I kiss you, Empress Rey?” he asked. Rey thought he looked so innocent in that moment. A boy asking a schoolmate for a peck on the cheek, not a freshly married Emperor alone with his wife. 

Wife. That was a word she was going to take some time getting used to.

“Yes, Emperor, you may,” she said, heat building in her core. She leaned off of the chair as Ben raised his head to hers. Their lips met gently, just the briefest of contact but it felt like Rey had been hit by lightning. They stayed there, their lips a centimeter apart, their breath mingling. 

They never thought they’d get to this point, and yet here they were. 

“Do it again,” Rey whispered, her eyes half closed, drunk on wine and the taste of Ben on her lips. 

He met her touch again, only this time his fingers brushed against her jaw as their lips experimented further. Rey pressed her lips harder into Ben’s, wanting more of him, more of his taste and his touch. Her hands reached down, resting on his neck with her thumb caressing his cheek and the rest of her fingers tangled in his long hair. 

Desperate for more kisses, Rey leaned further forward. She realized her mistake a second too late as she slipped out of the chair and into Ben’s lap on the floor. Rey giggled, burying her face in Ben’s tunic, savoring the feeling of his chest rising and falling with a deep chuckle. 

“So graceful,” he teased, gently unpinning the veil from Rey’s hair. When she was freed of the garment, Rey sat up straddling Ben’s legs and slid her fingers into her hair massaging her scalp where the pins had dug against her skin. She shook the braids out of her hair, letting it fall around her shoulders. 

She caught Ben watching her intently and she bit her lip trying to keep another blush from her cheeks. “What are you looking at?” 

“You,” he smiled. She could see in the pinkness of his nose that he had too much to drink. Neither of them had much of a tolerance and it was beginning to show. The wine was making her sleepy, and after such a long day it wasn’t that hard of a job. She shook her head to wake up, not wanting to miss a second of their time together. 

“Ben,” she said, slapping his shoulders with both hands. “I think it is time we moved to the bed.” 

He looked at her, to the bed in the corner of the room, and then back to her. 

“Yes, yes it must be,” he said, his words slurring a little. 

The pair struggled to their feet, Rey tangled in her lacey prison and Ben over his own gangly body. They leaned on one another as they crossed to the neatly made bed. Ben pulled back the black sheets and motioned for Rey to go first. 

The girl sank into the mattress, her body weightless after a day of so many heavy decisions. 

“Oh, I forgot-,” Ben walked away from the bedside for just a moment but Rey never learned what he had left behind. Her eyes closed and she was snoring before he got back.

* * *

Groggy doesn’t begin to describe how the pair felt the next morning. Still dressed in their wedding clothes, their limbs a tangled mess as they held on to one another in their sleep, they hid beneath the sheets away from the bright blinking lights and whirling of droids past their door. 

They laid there for nearly half an hour, awake but still trying to hold onto to the last tendrils of sleep before giving up. Rey opened her eyes, peering over at Ben under their little sheet fort they were huddled under. 

“Good morning, my dear,” he said, his voice deep and rough from sleep. The sound of it sent a little tingle through Rey’s toes. She could get used to this. 

“Good morning,” she snuggled closer, resting her forehead under his chin. “I’m sorry I fell asleep last night.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” she could feel Ben press a kiss onto the top of her head. “We have plenty of time together now.” 

Rey closed her eyes at the thought of being with Ben every day. Of sleeping in his arms and waking every morning to his gruff voice. Of spending their days exploring one another, living out the bond that the force had forged so strongly between them. It was perfect. They were perfect. 

A knock came at the door and a nervous voice followed. 

“Excuse me Emperor and Empress, but we have an urgent message in need of your personal attention.”

* * *

Rey stood at the com station, asking the attendant to play the message over and over again. 

“ _The Resistance demands to see Rey of Jakku on the surface of Crait by the end of the day to confirm her safety and well-being by order of General Leia Organa._ ” 

She didn’t like the sound of it, but most of all didn’t want to explain herself to them. They’d never understand her decision and Rey doubted she even had the words to properly describe it.  
She fidgeted with the edge of her black tunic, worrying a hole in the fabric as she went over the possible outcomes of the meeting. 

“You don’t have to go,” Ben said, hovering over her shoulder listening to the recording with her. “There’s, what, twenty of them? With no supplies or ships. They’re no threat to us.” 

“I know,” Rey mumbled. “But they deserve to know what’s going on.” 

She turned to see Ben raise an eyebrow at her. 

“Maybe your mother would like to hear about your wedding?” Rey said, not intending the words to come out as sharply as they did. Ben visibly flinched at the suggestion and Rey regretted ever bringing it up. 

“You can go if you like,” he said, his voice calm and guarded. “But don’t feel like it is your duty. You’re an Empress now, remember?”

* * *

The shuttle to the surface was quiet. Rey had convinced Ben to stay in orbit on the ship. The Resistance may respond better to the news if it came from Rey alone, and not with Kylo Ren hovering behind her. Rey chewed on her lip as they broke the atmosphere, sliding in close to the bright white salt flats. She should have changed back into her own clothes before she left, but she hadn’t thought of it and instead stepped out on Crait in a black tunic and pants. 

Rey told the pilot and storm troopers that had accompanied her to stay in the shuttle. She had to do this alone. 

Every step she took revealed a blood red footprint. She traced a path of carnage across the ground, stopping at the giant door to an abandoned mine. 

She took a breath, reminding herself that her friends were behind that door. Or were they her friends now? 

The door slid open and a relieved Finn shot out of the dark, running up to meet her. 

“Rey!” he greeted, a giant smile on his face before he looked down at her clothes. “What are you wearing?” 

“Uh, something new,” she said. 

“You look great! General Organa had this terrible feeling that you were in danger but you’re here and you look fine!” Finn’s eyes went to her belt. “They even let you come down here with your lightsaber! They don’t let prisoners come alone. I was right, General Leia will be relieved to see you-” 

General Leia herself stepped out onto the field of white, half hidden by the thick collar of her cloak. Her face was still grim and as Rey met her eyes she felt that she knew everything. 

“What did you do?” the General asked, pain etched into face. A familiar pain, the hurt of losing someone you were supposed to be guiding. 

“I-,” Rey could feel tears prick her eyes as the truth weighed down her tongue. Finn saw her distress and halted his babbling, looking to the General for information. 

“Wait, what happened Rey?” Finn asked, his eyes wide with fear of the unknown. 

“I… I made a deal,” Rey tried to soften the truth but it came out awkward and almost worse. Her voice was hoarse as if giving away her own lies. 

“So, it is true,” Leia said. The older woman closed her eyes feeling something that no one else could see. “I saw a vision of you, tempted to the dark side.” 

Leia’s eyes snapped open, staring at her with shimmering eyes. 

“I see now what your choice was,” she was disappointed, which was the worse thing the General could have been. Rey could have taken anger, could have taken fear, but look on Leia’s face made her feel nothing but shame. 

“You’ve gone to the dark side?” Finn asked, taking a step back from her as if Rey had a contagious disease. 

“No, no I didn’t choose any side. I didn’t pick light or dark,” Rey looked to Leia, her eyes pleading with her to understand. “I chose Ben.” 

“Ben? You mean Kylo Ren?” the disgust in Finn’s voice as he put together the story cut her straight to her core. “That monster who kill Han and who tried to kill me? Who blew up planets and chased us down like animals?” 

It was all true, or was it? She hardly thought of those deeds now, that was the work of a different person. Not her Ben, not her precious sweet Ben. 

“You don’t understand,” Rey said, shaking her head weakly trying to think of anything else to save her case. 

“What did he offer you? What was worth giving up your friends and the Resistance for?” Finn stepped up to challenge her, anger overtaking his horror. Tears were falling unbidden down Rey’s cheeks, her body weak and her heart hurting. 

“Love,” she choked out. “I love him.” 

“What?” Finn couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Rey looked past the former storm trooper, facing Leia with a tear stained face. 

“We’re married,” Rey choked out. “We’re together now. I can save him, there is goodness in him.” 

Leia sighed, turning away from her and heading back into the mine. 

“No! Listen to me!” Rey shrieked, pushing past Finn to march towards Leia. 

“I had lost hope for Ben, I’m only sad that he has dragged you down as well,” the General threw over her shoulder. 

“You don’t understand!” Rey cried. 

“Rey, you’ve been brain washed by this monster. You need to come back,” Finn grabbed her shoulders from behind and began to push her towards the mine. 

“I know what I’m doing!” she said, panic rising in her voice as her first friends began fading away. She could see them, the Resistance fighters standing in the shadow of the door slowly moving away as they watched her scream for them to understand something they could never possibly grasp. 

“Rey calm down, you’re safe now. Just come with me,” Finn was speaking to her like she was a child. They wouldn’t even try to listen to her, not even attempt to hear her side. She was an unruly toddler to them.

“He killed Snoke for me,” she told Finn in a last-ditch effort to make them see the situation clearly. 

“Mhm, I’m sure he did,” he wasn’t even listening. Just shoving her through the door to put her in the collection of scrappy underdogs that would die in a matter of days. Another group of lives lost for, what? Not for Crait. Not for hope. Rey had seen hope in Ben Solo’s eyes, these men and women had never known hope and they never would if they trapped her in the mine.

“Let go of me,” Rey demanded, ripping away from Finn’s grasp. She began marching back across the salt flat. She knew they wouldn’t understand her heart, no one did. Only Ben. They were the only two that could possibly understand one another. No wonder he had been shoved to the dark side. Any smidge of conflict was seen as weakness. Any doubt was demonized. 

She couldn’t live like that. She couldn’t forsake the only love she’d ever felt. 

“Where are you going?” Finn said, following in her scarlet footprints. 

“I’m going back to Ben,” she said. She heard a loud whistle and turned to see Finn motioning for people clad in dark green and bright orange to come running out of the mine. 

“What are you doing?” Rey stopped in her tracks to confront Finn as his mob of rebels inched across the salt to her. 

“I’m saving you. We’re not gonna let them take you back,” he said, giving her a smile that did not provide any comfort. 

“No!” she screamed. “You don’t know what you’re doing!” 

Rey turned on the people reaching for her and let her anger ripple off of her in a powerful wave. The Resistance fighters fell back, the force sliding them through the white fields and leaving crimson trails behind them. 

She turned to run towards the shuttle but a sharp pain hit her neck followed by a shock that paralyzed her entire body. Rey fell to the ground, her mouth filled with salt. As she fought to stay awake, she felt a familiar crackle in the air and then black boots stood in the red clay in front of her. Rey tried to reach for him but rebels yanked her off of the ground, throwing her over a shoulder like a sack of rocks. Rey met his eyes, the scourge of the Resistance that only she could see. Despite the numbness in her body she laughed, a loud, crazed cackle. The Resistance had brought hell upon themselves.

It would not be Ben Solo that would come to save her, but someone much more sinister.


	3. Destruction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance get what they asked for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I hope everyone had a good holiday! Mine was a tad busy so I'm just now being able to update. Thank you so much for reading this little fic, it makes me so happy that people are interested in it. I hope you enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think!

“Rey, you can tell me,” it was obvious that Finn thought he was being quiet and discreet when it was quite the opposite. He sat beside her, trying to pull a story that didn’t exist of out of her. His voice bounced off the cave walls, echoing through the mine and surely filling the ear of any rebel who stopped to listen. 

“I’ve already told you everything,” Rey sighed, leaning her head against a supply crate. They had shackled her hands together, attached to a heavy box filled with ammunitions. It was cold in the mine and sitting on a dusty crate cornered by armed rebels didn’t make her feel much like an Empress. 

“You understand where I’m coming from, right?” Finn asked. Rey looked over her shoulder at him. In the dim light of the mine she could make out his furrowed brow and guarded expression. He used to be an open book to her, and now it was obvious he no longer trusted her. He was the one that had taken her lightsaber away. It was hidden inside his jacket, she could feel it calling her from inside the black cloth of the stolen First Order uniform. 

She could grab it; have it fly into her palm and slash her way out back to Ben. 

Rey shook the thought away. She couldn’t give up on them yet. The Resistance were her first friends, she couldn’t throw them away. 

“I know it seems impossible,” she said, her voice low and calm. After screaming at them to understand, Rey decided not to waste her energy on it anymore. They had not seen the Ben Solo she had. “He’s really kind and gentle-”

“Kylo Ren gentle? Rey are you even listening to yourself?” Finn was as stubborn as ever. 

“I’m not talking about Kylo Ren,” Rey said hesitantly. It was a thought she had been mulling over for a while and only recently found the words for it. “I’m talking about Ben Solo.” 

“Rey, they’re the same person.” 

“No, they’re not!” Rey said, snapping at Finn. She was tired of him contradicting everything she said. Rey leaned back against the crate, closing her eyes and wishing she had stayed with Ben. She didn’t owe anything to the Resistance, not now and not ever. “I don’t know why you’re talking to me if you aren’t going to listen.” 

“I am listening, Rey. I just… I want to know what happened on that ship. You were my friend, someone I knew and now- I don’t recognize you,” Finn leaned forward, putting a hand on her knee. 

“Then let me go,” Rey glared at him, spitting the words through gritted teeth. 

“We’re going to keep you safe here,” Finn said, patting her knee as if that were the end of the conversation. As if safe involved being handcuffed. 

“Nowhere is safe if you’re holding me prisoner,” Rey hissed. It came out harsher than she intended but it felt… good? As if the feeling had been building in her chest for years and finally crawled out. Rey had been a no one on Jakku for so long, always at the bottom of the food chain. Well, now she had risen higher in the galaxy than anyone else could ever dare. She was important, and she wasn’t alone. 

“W-what?” Finn’s voice caught on the word, obviously taken aback by Rey’s sudden tone. 

“He’s coming,” she said, a touch of a smile gracing her lips. 

“Ben?” 

“No.”

* * *

Another loud thud echoed through the cavern, sending dust and pebbles ricocheting off the walls and scattering across the floor. The men stationed around her jumped at the sound, sharing worried glances as another strangled cry was muffled by the door. They were skinny things, tall but underfed. Their blasters were large but old and out of date. Rey watched them, twisting her wrists around in her shackles trying work out the kinks that sitting in such an odd position formed. 

She glanced up at the large metal door and found another dent marring its surface. 

“General Leia,” a timid young girl said, her voice cutting through the tense silence inside the mine. 

“Hm?” the older woman was as shaken as the rebels around her. They were trapped like rats her. No escape, no supplies, and no more ideas. They had painted themselves into a corner. Finn stood by her side with Poe Dameron. The pair had practically assigned themselves as Leia’s bodyguards. 

“He’s, uh,” another bang thundered through the room leaving a larger dent in the metal. The girl lowered her voice as if speaking had caused the sound, but it bounced off the mine walls just the same. “He’s throwing the men from the trenches into the door.” 

Leia’s lips set into a firm line just as a strangled scream was heard from outside. A terrified, desperate noise that turned into a muffled gurgling and then nothing. The woman closed her eyes and shook her head. She was disappointed in him, Rey could feel it. A flame arose in Rey’s stomach. Leia was mourning her son’s goodness when she had caused this heel turn.

“They don’t have to die,” Rey said, letting her voice ring through the cavern. “Let me see him and it all stops.” 

Leia looked to her, pain etched into every inch of her face. Rey wondered if she was jealous. Rey had found Ben Solo again after her mother had so foolishly lost him. She recovered something thought gone forever. It must hurt to see someone succeed where you have failed. 

The General held her gaze before turning away. Finn stepped towards Rey, and she knew another chiding was coming. She was sick of this. They couldn’t see the truth even when it was right in front of them. 

“You caused this carnage!” Rey was nearly yelling, her voice filling every corner of the mine. “You left him when he needed you the most and now you’re trying to make me do the same. I won’t do it!”  
The lightsabers call from inside Finn’s coat was as seductive as ever, but just as Rey focused on it ready to bring it to her hand plans changed. An explosion rocked the entire mine, shattering lightbulbs and plunging the entire Resistance in darkness. 

Dust filled the mine in huge clouds, covering everything. Rey remained in her makeshift jail, protected by the supply crates and held in place by her shackles. The rest of the rebels, however, were scattered across the floor. Poe was helping Leia to her feet, her dress soiled from the cave floor. Rey peered from behind the boxes, looking for what caused such an event. 

The door had been blasted open, the curled ends of the metal still glowing. It was as if the steel had been peeled back like the skin of a fruit. The opening spilled starlight into the mine, illuminating the unlucky rebels lying nearby. They were drenched in blood, and Rey spotted an arm without any body connected to it. 

The dust settled and Rey watched a single silhouette stand against the star backdrop. It was dark, and she couldn’t see their face but she could feel their soul. A prickle of familiarity hit her and she was about to call out to him, to scream for Ben to free her so they could go back to their quarters and hold each other. To laugh at the other’s blushing cheeks, and to feel completely at home again. 

But the words caught in her throat as the hum of his sabre crackled in the air, the red light casting bloody shadows across his face. The air stilled in Rey’s lungs as she gazed at him, eyes wide to take in every inch of the scene. 

A rebel lying near the makeshift door began crawling across the floor towards a blaster. Their battered body leaving a trail of blood on the floor as they tried to clamber, unnoticed, towards the weapon. 

Kylo Ren turned on them, his blade an inch from their nose. 

“Where is Rey?” his voice was deep and rough, like he’d been yelling. The rebel lying at the Emperor’s mercy chose the wrong answer and went for the blaster. A horrifying scream echoed against the walls of the mine as Kylo Ren plunged his lightsaber into the man’s skull. 

Silence, and then madness. 

Blasters started going off, sending tiny beams of red and green flying across the dark cave. Kylo’s sabre swirled around, catching the blasts before they could find home. 

One of Rey’s lanky guards fell to his knees beside her, using the supply crates as cover from all the friendly fire bouncing around the cavern. Rey fixated at on him, focusing all of her power on his mind. 

“You will unlock my restraints,” she commanded. The man stopped fiddling with his blaster and looked up at her, confusion mixing in his expression. 

“Of course,” he said, leaning over her to unlock her shackles. Rey grinned as the metal fell away from her wrists. She stood, ready to find Finn to take back her lightsaber. However, with her focus pulled away from the guard he began to come to his senses. “Hey!” 

Rey turned in time to see the man aiming his blaster at her. She was frozen in that moment, not sure if she should run or charge him. Then, she didn’t have to make the choice. 

She watched the gun fall from the man’s fingers as his body was lifted in the air, his limbs twisting and contorting as if he were a doll. His screams filled her ears before a single snap silenced it. The corpse fell to the floor in a crumped heap that hardly looked human. 

A gloved hand slipped around her shoulders, pulling her into a warm embrace. She closed her eyes, buried in the black fabric of her husband’s tunic. Guilt crept through her, seeping out of her stomach like a sickness to drag her down. 

_They made their choice. They asked for this. I gave them a way out and they refused._

A hand gently swept her hair from her face. Rey opened her eyes, peering up in the dim light. He had blood on his face and she wondered how much were on his hands. 

“My lightsaber-,” she started. 

“I’ll get it,” he pulled away, ready to hunt down whoever dared strip his Empress of her weapon. 

“No,” Rey said, a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll do it.” 

He let her lead, following behind at a close distance like a loyal guard. His cape dragging across the corpses of the rebels who died in the blast. Rey walked through the carnage, her angry bubbling up as she saw the worst of the damage. 

_No one ever listens._

She found Finn by the door, alone. He was hurt, nursing a blaster wound to his side. How funny that the resistance can even literally hurt their own. 

“My lightsaber,” Rey extended her hand, her tone calm and cool. She stood over him, fresh for a fight and with her loyal companion hovering over her shoulder like death. He didn’t stand a chance. He never did. 

Finn raised a blaster, his eyes half open as more blood seeped out of his wound. Kylo was right behind her, one hand on her hip, the other holding his lightsaber by Finn’s head. Rey raised a hand to halt the action. 

They froze, standing in a tableau with weapons drawn. Slowly, Rey kneeled down, reaching into Finn’s coat pocket and pulling out the sabre. 

“I wish you could understand,” she said. Finn’s lips stayed in a firm line, as he shook from pain and fear. 

They left without another word, walking out into the expansion of salt and blood, with Finn still holding his blaster aiming at nothing.


	4. Moan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! When I rated this fic I promised smut so here it is (finally!). This was, by far, the most challenging chapter to write so I hope all the blood, sweat, and tears have created something fun to read. I love you guys, and your comments and enthusiasm has been invaluable to me. Let me know what you think!

The Supremacy was a welcomed sight. The men and women inside were buzzing around to repair air locks and keep the half of the ship unaffected by the Resistance’s Cruiser attack working. Everyone dipped their head to Rey or saluted her as they passed and while new and foreign, it coaxed a pride within her that she hadn’t been aware of. A pride of importance. Of power. 

Her hand wrapped in Ben’s gloved one, they dashed past officials before they could ask them any questions. Even General Hux was ignored as they sprinted down the slick, black hallways to their private quarters. 

They burst into the room and immediately Ben was locking the door and shutting down the communication panel. As he worked, Rey collapsed face first onto the bed. She closed her eyes, taking in the scent of him on the sheets. 

“There,” he said, the lights of the panel diming as it lost power. “No one will interrupt us.” 

Rey sat up, her heart already beating a mile a minute. There was a long pause, each of them excited but unsure. They had run the whole length of the ship to be alone and now that they had achieved their goal they found themselves rather unexperienced. Rey chewed on her bottom lip. Ben fidgeted with the wrist of his tunic. Their eyes wandering the room only to return back to other’s form, wanting and wondering. 

“Good,” Rey said breaking the silence. She became very aware of her body, pressing her knees together in an attempt to appear less than wanton. Then again, did it matter how she looked if they were alone? She was in front of her husband after all. A husband she had never seen naked before. Was everyone nervous their first time? Was he nervous? 

A million other thoughts paraded through her mind and Rey was beginning to feel like a glitchy holo vid.

Ben took a slow, careful step towards her. Rey could feel his nerves radiating off of him, but his gaze held hers. Her own anxiety was building, churning with want and raising goosebumps. Rey stood quickly, trying to diffuse the whirlwind growing between her legs. 

“Well, I guess we should take our clothes off, huh?” she said quickly, any façade of cool she may have been wearing lost. Rey mentally chided herself- she was not sounding very Empress-like. 

Her fingers went to the hem of her black tunic, ready to yank it over her head and throw it aside when Ben’s voice stopped her. 

“No, let me.” 

Rey swallowed hard, forcing her arms to fall to her sides. She could feel her cheeks burn hotter as he came closer. She craned her neck to look up at him, her heart skipping a beat as her gaze passed the broadness of his shoulders. Her body would never forget how that moment through the bond had made her feel. It was the first time she felt something other than hate or curiosity towards Ben Solo; something carnal and forbidden. That same taboo desire was curling around her core, fanning the flame of desire. 

Ben bit down on the finger of his glove, yanking it off in one fluid motion. 

“Kriff,” Rey whispered, unaware she had said the word aloud. 

“What?” he asked, his brow pulled together in concern. Rey’s entire face went crimson. 

“I, uh, I just think that was…,” her hands flittering around, trying to convey her meaning where her words were obviously failing. “That made me, um. It looked…” 

“Oh,” Ben’s concern was erased and quickly replaced by surprise. A light blush graced his pale cheeks. “You like it when I do this?” 

Ben yanked off his other glove, his teeth bared as he grunted with the action. 

“Mmhmmm,” she said through closed lips, frantically chewing the inside of her cheek. At this rate, she was going to pass out before he even touched her. 

With his hands freed, Ben’s fingers wrapped around the bottom of her tunic.

“May I?” he asked, his eyes as worried and excited as the frantic pace of her heart. Rey nodded, and Ben slowly pulled the fabric up, over her head and let it fall to the floor beside them. Rey’s arms instinctively raised to cross over her exposed body but she fought the action. Instead, she put her anxious energy into a task. Shaking fingers rose to the base of Ben’s throat, gripping the zipper there. She could feel his throat bob beneath her touch as he swallowed his nerves. She gave him a small smile. There was solace in Supreme Leader Kylo Ren being as nervous as she was to have sex. Rey pulled the zipper down, savoring the slow exposure of his chest. Her lips met muscle, leaving soft kisses on pale skin. Ben shrugged out of the garment, revealing the scene she had stumbled upon through their force bond. 

This time, however, she could touch him.

Rey pressed lazy kisses up his chest until she reached his collarbone. It was marred with scar tissue connecting up to the gash on his face. 

Guilt twisted in her stomach. Rey decided to do the only thing she could do for the wound now, and pressed her lips to the twisted flesh where Ben’s neck sloped to meet his shoulders. As her mouth moved against the spot, Ben’s hands gripped her hips; his body twitching under her kiss. 

“Did I do something wrong?” Rey asked, pulling away and looking up into his face. However, his expression was not one of pain or discomfort.

“No, not wrong,” Ben replied, looking down at her with half lidded eyes. His low voice rough as he stretched out his words, trying to nail down the feeling with words. “It felt nice… real nice.” 

“Oh,” Rey said and dived for the spot again. Ben shuddered under her kisses, his grip tightening on her hips. Experimentally, Rey flicked her tongue out over the tender section of skin. She was rewarded with a low groan from the back of his throat that echoed through her entire body. Heat grew between her legs, and Rey fought the urge to slip her own hand down to relieve it. 

“I like _that_ ,” she said, before hungrily laying kisses further up his neck, following the path of the scar. Tangling her fingers into Ben’s hair to keep them occupied. 

“Like what?” Ben asked, his chest rising and falling with labored breath. 

“That sound you made,” Rey’s cheeks were burning but she couldn’t bring herself to care if she looked naïve. They were both exploring uncharted territory and her body _needed_ this. “It made my toes tingle.” 

His pulled her hips closer, pressing her chest, clothed in only a thin breastband, against his bare torso. The scent of his warm skin so close to her own made her knees weak. Rey pulled on Ben’s dark hair to bring his lips down for a kiss. However, she yanked a little too hard. The pair lost their balance, crashing into the bed with Rey pressed between the sheets and Ben Solo. 

“This is better,” he said, laying a kiss on Rey’s neck. His lips traveled up to hers, their kisses sloppy, their bodies unused to intimacy yet so hungry for it. With each desperate taste of his lips, Rey grew more and more eager. Her body burned to be explored and she was growing restless with Ben’s seemingly endless supply of patience. She grabbed his hands, moving them to her chest. Ben pulled away to look down to see his palms pressed to her breasts through the fabric. 

He swallowed hard. 

“Take it off of me,” she said, before capturing his lips again. Ben mumbled something into her mouth but she couldn’t hear it. His fingers fumbled with the wrappings around her chest. He fidgeted and tugged around and yet the garment was still in place. 

Rey pulled back, looking down to see that he hadn’t unwrapped the fabric even a little bit. 

“I- I’m not sure where it, uh, opens?” he said, sitting up on his knees astride her hips, his hands unsure whether to try again or admit defeat. 

“Here,” Rey took his hand and led it to where the end of the long piece of cloth was tucked between her breasts. Ben’s knuckles brushed the soft skin above her heart as he yanked on the tape. The garment began to unravel and, when her chest was freed, he tossed it over his shoulder. 

Rey couldn’t bring herself to feel nervous anymore. If anything, she felt powerful as Ben stared at her chest, his mouth hanging open just slightly. 

Heat flared through her body and she couldn’t resist the urge to soothe her desire for touch. Involuntarily, her hands flew to her chest, cupping her breasts. Flesh bulged between her fingers, her thumbs running over the hard, pink points of her nipples. 

“Ben,” Rey moaned, her back arching off the bed as she tried to soothe the fire raging within. “Please, touch me.” 

She did not have to tell him twice. Rey’s hands fell away as Ben’s took their place. Rey gripped the sheets beneath her as he rolled her nipple between his fingers. She closed her eyes, bathing in the sensation of his rough, warm hands caressing her body.

His lips came down on her breast, kissing the soft flesh before sucking her nipple into his mouth. Rey gasped, not expecting the warm, wetness against the sensitive bud of skin. 

“Good?” Ben looked up from his work, still wary of what noise meant what. 

“Good!” Rey cried, wanting his mouth against her skin again. She twisted underneath him as his tongue flicked against her breast, exploring all the different ways he could make her wiggle. Each caress of his hands, each light kiss on her chest made Rey’s body flare with heat that would rival Jakku’s hottest days. She was impatient, but not entirely sure what she was waiting for. However, she did know they needed to do one thing. 

“Take off your clothes,” she said, breathy but forceful. Ben stopped for a moment, staring down at her before hopping off the bed to frantically yank his boots off. Rey quickly kicked off her shoes and shimmed her pants off. 

As quickly as they parted, they were back together. Ben on top of her, his lips against hers as if that was the only way they could truly breathe. 

“I want you inside of me,” Rey whispered against Ben’s mouth, her arms around him like a vice desperate to feel every part of his body against her own. His hardness pressed into her thigh and Rey was overcome with need, her hips rocking forward to feel him against her. 

“Patience, Rey,” Ben whispered into her ear, moving his head to rest in the crook of her shoulder. A large, warm hand drifted down her body, skimming over her breasts and stomach until she could feel his fingers press against the wetness between her legs. 

Her back arched off the bed as colors shot across her vision. Crimsons and scarlet mixing with mellow shades of blue creating a deep purple. She blinked the rainbow away, her fists balled in the pitch black sheets of their marriage bed. Waves of pleasure flooded her hips, curling her toes and setting her hair on end. She gasped as his fingers worked against her, finding each little spot that sent another shock through her bones. Grinding against his knuckles, Rey was climbing the peak to her own pleasure. 

Keeping a thumb working on the bundle of nerves, one of his fingers pushed inside of her. Rey’s breath hitched, her body clinching down around the intrusion. Hesitance soon melted into joy as his finger moved in and out. She was hardly aware of the moans escaping her throat as she rolled her head from side to side trying to keep her head above the flood of ecstasy that threatened to drown her. It would be a sweet death, to let herself fall into this rhythm and never surface again.

Ben pushed another finger alongside the first one, creating a wonderful sensation of fullness that left Rey wanting more. A pressure was compounding, like a balloon being filled. She wondered what would happen when it popped. 

She turned into Ben’s kisses as they scattered up and down her jaw, no doubt tossing her tangled hair into his face. He was so close, his body melted against the side of hers, his lips tasting her skin. Rey thrusted her hips to match his pace, her eyes rolling back as they crooked within her. 

Then his fingers were gone. Rey made a small protestation in the back of her throat. However, Ben’s fingers were soon replaced with the tip of his cock. Ben as he hovered over her, one hand by her head supporting his weight, the other leading himself to her entrance. His dark eyes flickered up to hers, asking a question the two of them were too drunk with passion to verbalize. In response, Rey spread her thighs open for him. 

The feeling of Ben carefully pushing inside of her was unmatched by anything Rey had ever experienced. She held his gaze, watching pleasure wash over him as he filled her up. Rey pressed her lips together, trying to push past the intrusive pinching feeling that accompanied his arrival. 

He bottomed out, his entire length pulsing inside of her. Ben trembled. His arms shaking as they held up his weight, his cheeks flushed, and his face glimmering with sweat. Rey’s breath mixed with his, her nails already dip in the skin of his back. They held each other, hips flush together enjoying the feeling of being joined. They had been connected many times. By fate, by their bond, and by marriage. This was the instinctual joining. The animalistic part of their souls together as sweat dripped down their faces, small smiles touching shaking lips as they experienced their first time together. 

He took in a deep breath before slowly pulling out, the friction pulling an indulgent moan from Rey. 

Ben set into a rhythm, thrusting deep inside of her shaking her whole body. Rey dug her nails in, raking them down his shoulders as the thrusts became faster and harder. A growl vibrated Ben’s chest, she felt blood on her fingertips. 

She wanted to talk to him, to tell him how much she enjoyed his touch but each pump of his hips scattered her thoughts.

She had crossed a galaxy to be here. At the time she wasn’t sure why she was coming. To redeem Kylo Ren, perhaps. Now, she could see clearly her intentions. To no longer feel alone in the universe. He had told her she wasn’t alone, and now with their bodies entangled, he was proving it.

“Rey,” her name came as a strangled moan from Ben’s throat, distorted with his own want and muffled by her hair. The roughness of his voice sent a tingle through her body, sharpening every sensation bouncing around in it. “Oh, Rey.” 

Intoxicated by his touch, Rey felt herself reaching the forbidden, unknown goal inside of her. Her moan was caught in her throat as her body dissolved into twitches, her back arching off the sheets. Pleasure shook every inch of her body, rattling her bones, and sending tingles through every inch of her body from the tips of her fingers to the ends of her toes. 

Ben gave a few final, ragged thrusts before spending inside of her, his low moan nearly sparking a whole other flame inside of her again. 

The pair held their positions, shuddering as aftershocks ripped through their weakened bodies. 

Rey closed her eyes, letting her body savor the feelings that were still settling into place in her hips. Ben carefully pulled out before collapsing beside her, a strong arm thrown over her waist to gently pull her close. He nuzzled his face into her hair, sighing as his body relaxed into the mattress. 

She turned her face up to him, enjoying the pink that colored his cheeks and the sleepy eyes that greeted her. Ben leaned in, gently brushing his lips over hers. It was a timid touch, just the beginnings of what a kiss could be.


	5. The Sun Sets, and the Moon Rises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey must send a message to the Resistance, and gets her first real taste of darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! It has been a hot minute since I've updated this fic. Honestly, if I told you everything that has happened since then you wouldn't believe me. However, I am so glad to finally roll this out for everyone. The last chapter is honestly a hard act to follow so I hope this does the job. As always, I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!

After years of loneliness, Rey couldn’t help but savor her moments with Ben. She would wake up in the middle of night and simply listen to his breathing beside her, feel the warmness of his skin. Intimacy was a treasure she kept close by. Her fingers were always tangled with Ben’s, their eyes searching the other’s out every few moments. They stole away in secret corners of the Supremacy just to steal another kiss, to hold each other close for a few more seconds. 

They were enthralled with one another, completely hypnotized. 

It took two weeks of their secret smiles, mad dashes back to their quarters, and blocked com systems before Hux said anything. 

“Supreme Leader,” his tone was careful. The General had no love for Kylo Ren or his new bride, but he knew better than to start a meeting off with an insult. He had been thrown into too many polished First Order walls to make that mistake. “Now is a very important time. The Resistance is in pieces, and we must reassert our power before they begin to grow again.” 

“Did you have something in mind, General Hux?” Ben said, his arms crossed over his chest. 

“We need to show the Resistance our power, our intent. Our new Empress spent quite a bit of time with the traitors,” Hux nearly spit out the words, his upper lip curled in disgust. “I figured she might have an idea of how to send a message to the rebellion.” 

Both men turned their attention to Rey. She didn’t like thinking about the rebellion lately. She had made a decision to leave them and they would never fully understand that. Even when she told them face to face they hadn’t believed her. A piece to be saved. A pawn to move around the board, that’s what they thought of her. They were probably somewhere plotting to rescue her this very moment. Finn and Poe huddled over a map of the star system the Supremacy was cruising in, saying to one another “if we could just talk to her.”

They never really listened to what she had to saw anyway. She told them about Ben, about his kindness, about their bond. All the rebellion wanted to be were heroes. Men who shot down space craft and stood in the glory of the wreckage ready to be applauded for their efforts. They don’t know what war leaves behind. 

War leaves behind rumble and carnage for little girls to climb through, yanking parts and bolts out of ancient crafts to trade for a measly supper. War leaves places barren and useless. 

“I have an idea.”

* * *

Black boots settled into sand, the feeling all too familiar. She stepped out into the sun, her black robes soaking up the heat of a nearby star. The Empress did not worry, she wouldn’t be here long. 

With a battalion of stormtroopers at her back, Rey walked through the dunes towards the small outpost in the distance. When she was young she used to think of Niima as bustling but that was hardly the case. It was simply a sad little speck on an eroding world. It was nothing and it would never not be nothing. 

As they marched closer, Rey could see the people trying to duck behind their stalls. Some raised their hands to show they were unarmed. When she entered under the arch of the outpost, she stopped. The rattling of stormtrooper armor came to a halt and the wind carried only silence. 

Kylo’s hand rested on her waist as he leaned over her shoulder to whisper in her ear. “Whenever you’re ready.” 

Rey’s eyes slid over the drab huts. The dry sticks holding up thin, worn fabric meant to shield the old women washing scrap from getting burnt to a crisp. She settled on one woman specifically. She wasn’t hiding behind a pile of junk or hunched over in fear. She stood, facing her. Almost a challenge. She was old and haggard, her skin leathery and her lips chapped beyond repair. Her hair was white and thin, yanked into a tight bun at the base of her neck. 

She could have easily become that woman. Had BB-8 not been dropped into her lap, Rey could still be here working herself to death for nothing. She clenched her fists, the leather of her gloves stretched tight over her knuckles. She didn’t want to think of the droid, or of anything that followed. She was where she was supposed to be now and that’s what mattered.

She turned, her cape dragging in the sand, her lips parted to give the order to her husband when a voice stopped her. 

“Rey.” The old woman’s voice was as rough as her appearance. Her wrinkled mouth was pursed, her white eyebrows bunched together. She limped forward in the sand, squinting to get a better look at her face. The rags hanging off the woman’s body were worn though, hanging in strips barely covering the burned skin of her arms. Rey swallowed hard, her emotions clogged in her throat. “My child, what have you become?” 

“An Empress,” Rey snapped, raising her chin. She was the most powerful woman in the galaxy, she was strong with the force and with Ben by her side there was nothing she couldn’t do. 

“Such a high place,” the star scorched woman said, her face wrinkling as her eyes widened. She was taking in Rey’s robes, they were nicer than anything left on Jakku. The woman crossed her tan, freckled arms over her brown rags. Her brown eyes dared to meet Rey’s as the old woman’s mouth curled into a grin. “Such a hard fall.” 

Kylo’s arm shot out over Rey’s shoulder, fingers clenched. The woman barely fought the assault. Lifted to her toes, she gagged, her arms hanging limply at her sides. Rey watched for a few moments, trying to feel some enjoyment from the woman’s pain. After all, no one should threaten an Empress as she had. Yet, she could not. 

“That’s enough,” Rey said. The woman collapsed into the sand, coughing hard enough to bring up a lung. Rey turned away, walking through the ranks of stormtroopers, her eyes set on their shuttle. 

“There’s too much light in you,” the woman cackled. Rey pushed on, trying to ignore the voice that followed her like BB-8 rolling through the dunes not that long ago. “You’ll have to choose.” 

Rey stopped at the last trooper in the line, an officer marked by a red pauldron on his shoulder. 

“Level it.”

“Yes, Empress.” 

The troopers shuffled forward, the chorus of armor and marching filling the air. Rey didn’t move, but didn’t look back. Kylo came to her side, his hand instinctively reaching out for hers. 

“This is where I found BB-8, and Finn. The rebels know that, they’ll get the message,” she said, gripping his fingers tightly, trying to hold on to her emotions. “I’m killing my past, like you said.”

“I know.” There was a long stretch of quiet. The pair listened to the troopers take their positions, and then blaster fire. There were screams but not as many as one may think. The whole ordeal was over within a couple of minutes. 

This is what she wanted. To belong somewhere, to become someone. Yet, her heart was heavy, yanking at the surrounding ribs as if her entire chest would collapse. The silence of her childhood prison should be enough to relieve the tension in her gut but it doesn’t. Fear thickens her throat. This was to bring down two birds with one stone- to send a message to the Resistance, but also to quell the sadness in her heart. To burn the memories of the past until they no longer existed. To feel like a true Empress. 

Yet, she still didn’t feel like anyone.

“I sense conflict,” Ben whispered. She turned to see his eyes closed, his head bowed slightly as if in thought. 

“Because I feel conflict,” Rey admitted. She started for the shuttle again, ready to leave Jakku behind in the dust. 

“This garbage pile deserved its fate, Rey,” Ben said, following her quick footsteps towards the shuttle. “You don’t need to feel sorry for these junk traders.” 

Rey stopped, her feet nearly buried up to the ankle in sand. Her eyes were closed, trying to hold her emotions at bay. She wanted to say that she was nothing but a junk trader too. A filthy no one brought to greatness by chance. Instead, she kept it all back- locked away in her chest to fester like an open wound. 

“We’re done here.”

* * *

That night, Rey sat on the edge of their bed looking at her hands. They were calloused and rough, working hands covered in burns and scars. She could remember how she earned some of the marks. Slicing her palm open on a jagged edge of picked over control panel, a burn on her ring finger earned by trying to breath life back into an accelerator. She had met a middle-aged woman at Niima who showed her how to treat her wounds. How to wrap a bandage around the wounds that wouldn’t get in the way of further work. 

“Rey,” Ben’s voice broke her concentration. She looked up as he crossed from the fresher to sit beside her. He put his hand over her own. “You cannot dwell on this, it will kill you if you let it.” 

“How can I not?” Rey said, meeting his gaze. There were tears in her eyes, emotion yet to be let loose. 

“Rey those people wronged you,” she felt him push inside her mind, bringing up faded memories of her past. Being robbed of a week’s haul on the outskirts of Niima. Old, burned men hooting at her as she walked alone, yelling obscene things at her back. A woman offering to help her clean half her scrape and then making off with it. Unkar Plutt giving her a quarter portion for a part that was worth at least five full ones. 

“Stop,” she whispered, squeezing Ben’s hand. She swallowed back the sadness and anger from long ago. 

“No no, don’t ignore those feelings Rey,” Ben said, pulling more to the fore front of her mind. A fight she had with another scavenger. He had slapped her across the face and was going to push her off a hull of a star destroyer if she hadn’t stopped him first. “Feel your anger, Rey.” 

Rey closed her eyes, not wanting to remember all the moments she had blocked out. Then she felt it at the edge of her mind. The hatred she felt every time someone tried to take advantage of her on Jakku. Every time someone walked by and refused to help a starving child. 

The fury of being sold for drinking money. 

“Yes, feel it grow within you,” Ben’s voice was growing louder as her thoughts grew more volatile. 

The hatred of being lied to by Luke Skywalker, of being chided for leaning into the dark side of the force on their tiny little island. He hated her for interrupting his pity part, and despised that she was stronger than him. That she was as strong as Ben Solo had been and that he could control neither. 

“Yes, Rey!” her husband’s voice sounded far away as she was assaulted by all the thoughts she left unsaid. All her emotion she let fizzle out in the past, growing into something more. 

Rey could feel her anger fueling her energy, her skin tingled and fingers twitched as red hot anger ran through her whole body. 

They never understood her. Not the beggars at Niima, not the Resistance, not even Luke Skywalker understood her power or her pain. The Resistance only saw her as a tool to use, a powerful tool that must remain on their side. 

They don’t even care how lonely she has been her whole life. Lonely despite her gifts, despite her greatness. She’s been cast aside and ignored her entire kriffing life. 

_Don’t be afraid_ the memory of Kylo Ren’s whisper sinks into her bones _I feel it too._

All of her rage rolls of her body in a single giant wave of force. She can hear furniture crashing around their quarters. Rey opens her eyes to find their room a mess. Papers scattered on the floor, chairs overturned, everything on the shelves has been blown off and thrown around the room. 

Rey sucks in a shaky breath as she takes in the destruction she caused. 

“Rey,” Ben’s voice pulls her back to center. His eyes have a wide, wild look to them. “Rey, that was amazing.” 

It’s in the way he’s looking at her, in awe of her power, that makes her crumble. Even though the ugliest parts of her emotions were dug up, he still adored every part of her. Their lips meet and it has never tasted sweeter. 

His hands caress her body, and she falls to pieces beneath his touch.


End file.
